Suddenly the relationship (it took them almost years of not knowing or meeting anyone else to call it that way) had begun to settle down in a sort of process of compensation between the memories that she gathered and the delusion of being together; as the first ones were collected, the second one was wasting away. He had promised to buy a new one, (the idea to lend his own was out of the question), but he never did, nor even tried or excused himself. The toaster, she means. She can recall it now, she had never remembered the promise. In fact, it was a waste of time when, one morning, one realizes that more than hearing a few gentle words or more promises, what one wants to hear is the very sigh of relief when listening his keys locking the door on his way to work, to not return until late.
The natural became unnatural. What once had been new, it became old, unmatched, even random. Whatsoever she wanted to feel, it wasn't what she was living at the moment. The obligation of buying books for Sant Jordi's day, the incessant necessity of tracking every single object they owned to avoid losing it in the other's personal world of stuff. The futility of emotions such as jealousy or guilt. The colors had changed and she was aware of that, how the perspective of the places in which she had been was now different once she had seen them with him. They were hurting each other in such a distorted but silent manner that it was hard to realize that the only thing that kept them from happiness was to share the same perspective of the world. So he decided to change it... Change her. They were no longer 'here' and 'now'.
The particular smell of apricot hit her cheeks like a whip. The bus was about to make a pit stop and she wanted to go to the bathroom so badly, she only gave herself five more seconds of trying to reckon what just happened, while she removed gum stuck to her lips. Was the nostalgic snap worth it? Probably she should buy more gums to resume the trip. Although, and despite how, she had no intention to remember all those years all over, she felt the desire of listening to that San Francisco Bay song again.